Getting it wrong and making it better

I got it wrong today.  Totally wrong.  A classic mama mistake.

Bean, who will be 4 in the spring, has been on a coloring kick recently.  She’s been working very hard at coloring inside the lines, and I’ve tried to recognize that hard work without giving her the impression that she “should” color inside the lines, or that it’s the “right” way to color.  I felt a swell of pride when P commended her on coloring inside the lines and she replied, “I can color it any way I want.”  I’ve told her that, and she has happily taken the message to heart.

So there she was, coloring her little heart out, and then she proudly showed me what she had drawn in the blank space in the picture.    It was a pink squiggly scrawly thing, not much more than a scribble, but obviously drawn with some kind of intent.  “Look!” she exclaimed, bursting with pride.

And that’s when I got it wrong.  I knew I’d gotten it wrong as soon as the words left my mouth: “Oh wow!  Did you draw a heart?”

Wrong answer.

She deflated and her brow furrowed.  Her face darkened.  That bright smile turned to a scowl.  “It was supposed to be a star!” she stormed.  “Stars are hard!  And that is not a good star!”  She chucked the crayon down, crossed her arms, and refused to look at me.

Ah crap.

I apologized and asked her if she wanted to tell me about her drawing.  She did not.  I told her that stars are hard to draw, and that I couldn’t draw a star really well until I was 7. She was suddenly fascinated by the idea of me as a 7-year-old, and my art critic faux pas was quickly forgotten.

I wonder if I can use the same approach when she’s a teenager.